Tuesday, 8 December 2015

The Adventures of Team Bicdiss.

Man am I loving RWBY's third season so far. Still needs more Yang, but there can never be enough Yang in one's life. Come to think of it, I've never actually looked for RWBY fanfiction before. I guess now's as good a time as any to start?

The Mixed Up Adventures of Team BCDS, by TheSilverHuntsman is... a thing. From the description alone, I can't tell if the thing is a parody or the typical, er... fanfic tropes.

The best mixed up team of Beacon that is made up of a guy in silver armor, a guy who loves to crush stuff, a rare dragon faunus who can use dragon powers, and a girl that loves deadly weapons. This story will have action, shenanigans, and lots of references to other stuff from time to time. Rated T for some violence and me being paranoid for no reason.

So yeah.

Also, might as well start with a nitpick: The hell is BCDS? I know the series has some rather creative... codenames (CFVY is totally 'coffee' you guys), but what could this acronym possibly even mean?

Well, anyway, let's get reading.

The bright light trailer

Well this is boding well already.

AN: welcome all to the first trailer of team BCDS. Note that the trailers will be based on what they're known for, not their colors.

But what if they're known for their colours?!

Quick note for anyone not familiar with the trailer stuff - In the year before RWBY's first season was released, four trailers were made, each centred on one of the main characters and named after their colours - red, white, black and yellow.

How do you make a trailer made purely out of text, and why wouldn't you just call it chapter 1, or even just the prologue? Good questions.

The real story will start after the S trailer is done and if I get at least 5 reviews before the first proper chapter.

This is the best way to make someone interested in reading. "Oh, this story's actually really great! ...But no one else has reviewed it, so I guess it'll never continue".

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY or I would have added a character from my story into it.

I will never not be baffled by disclaimers on a website centred around fanfiction.

Somewhere in Atlas….
"So far so good" a guy in pieces of silver armor grumbled.
The guy was Brandon SilverSchnee, a distance member of the Schnee family and one of the best sword fighters and security in Atlas.

 Guy in shiny armour
☑ Related to a main character
 Surname sillier than said canon character.

Brandon is a 16 year old guy that is 6 foot tall and he is a thin person that carries two custom swords called Light Switch and Sin Slayer and his powerful hand cannon called Silver Angel.

Normally those two swords would combine into a hand cannon in this series. Do you even RWBY, bro?

Anyways, he's in a train making it's way to a major city in Atlas to drop off Schnee dust crates and the Atlesian combat droids.

I know that generic grunts tend to be useless, especially in a show where every named character has superhuman martial arts skills, but just one teenager protecting a whole train? Was the price to hire an actual Hunter too stupidly expensive?

He was sitting around doing nothing when he heard an engine and multiple foot steps above him." let's get this show on the road"

Good god, two lines of dialogue and he speaks exactly like Adam: Stock uber badass phrases.

Brandon huffed as he got Light Switch, his templer styled sword that has the dust revolver mechanism, and placed his earbuds in his ears and played Lift Your Spirits by Unlimited Gravity (cue the song)

...Fine, I guess.
> Opens new tab
> Youtube
> Search for song

...What the Christ is glitch hop?

Brandon climbed a ladder and leaped onto the roof and found five White Fang members, all armed with swords, lifting two dust containers.

In hindsight, placing important cargo on top of the train was a poor choice.

He smirked and placed his custom silver helmet on and ran towards the robbers.

It seems redundant to refer to one's equipment as 'custom' in this series. Like, one whole character inherited his weapon, the others made their stuff themselves!

-Brandon proceeds to one-hit everyone with a single ice attack-

That wasn't all because a bullhead just arrived and more White Fang members arrived with a guy wearing a mask covering his eyes and wearing a black trench coat and has red hair.

Oh hey, speaking of Adam. Please don't let these two have a conversation.

Brandon just yawned and pulled out Silver Angel. The hand cannon was a silver revolver style handgun and the barrel looked like the desert eagle's and has a blade under the gun and can switch into a knife in a press of a button.

...A revolver... shaped like a desert eagle... that still has room for a blade. Before it switches to a knife.

I should point out that the reason RWBY's weapons can be a scythe/rifle, or hammer/grenade launcher at the same time, is because it a) is freakin' awesome, and b) carefully designed in such a way that it seems plausible. They tend not be jumbled messes.

Well, anyway, from here, a fight scene worthy of the series takes place. No need to copy all of the paragraph block, but I'm sure this will be suffice to convince you of its' greatness.

The grunts started to shoot at Brandon, but he threw one of the swords that belonged to one of the fallen members at one of them and running towards the group of thieves. The sword hit one of the closest members and Brandon began to slice the other members until he reached the one dressed in black.

So wonderfully choreographed.

" Who do we have here" the guy in black questioned him as he drew his sword.

" I'm just a guy defending a train" Brandon answered as he sheathed Light Switch and brought out Sin Slayer.


Sin Slayer is a sword that has a blade made entirely out of fire dust and the handle is shaped as a T and its made out of silver and ebony metal.

On the plus side, that's, like, +4 Fire Damage to all enemies. On the downside... you could sneeze on that sword and cause a nuclear apocalypse.

Dust is not the kind of thing you use as the primary metal for a sword, guy.

The stranger struck first and forced Brandon into his defensive position, but he was able to counter attack and launched his attacker a few feet back by directing some of his aura to his hand and done a palm strike at the guy's chest.

Adam is well known for leaving himself wide open like that.

"You're more skilled than I thought" the unique White Fang member commented as a bullhead arrived.

Or you're just incompetent. Either way, 'skill' is not the word I'd use to describe this epic battle so far.

The guy got on the bullhead and was about to leave when the guy spoke. "The names Adam" was the only thing he said before the bullhead flew away.

Soooo... why did he run away so quickly? Why did he give out his name? And did that fight really just consist of Adam jumping around like an idiot, and Brandon shoving him away?

It was a quiet ride from that point on with Brandon doing nothing but listen to music all the way there.

This is gonna be a thing with him, isn't it.

-Brandon meets a totally mysterious guy when they finally reach a train station-

" I'm Ozpin, the headmaster of Beacon" Ozpin told him as Brandons mouth flew right open.
"As in the headmaster of Beacon Ozpin?" Brandon questioned Ozpin again.

No, no, he means the headmaster of Beacon. That would be Ozpin.

Ozpin told him yes and handed him a letter. Brandon opened the letter to see an acceptance letter for Beacon. He looked at the letter and back to Ozpin for a few minutes. Brandon was about to ask why he got accepted, but Ozpin was gone.

I guess Ozpin just got bored of Brandon staring at him and the letter without saying anything for an extended period of time?

The silver knight got his scroll and called his family that he got accepted to Beacon. His family congratulated him and told him that they were proud of him. He thanked them and hung up and called Weiss about the good news.

"Hey guys, I got accepted into Beacon."
"Yep. Bye."

 Weiss is one of Brandon's favorite cousins and Brandon is the only person Weiss can talk to without going into her annoying attitude.

☑ OC related to canon snippy character that doesn't trigger any snippiness

" Its me Weiss, Brandon, anyway I got accepted into Beacon" Brandon told Weiss as Weiss began to ramble about how he was only 16 years old. " I got the acceptance letter from Ozpin himself Weiss" he told her as Weiss finally congratulated him on his acceptance.

And, like the mainest of main characters, he is totally super ultra omega awesome enough to join the academy early. At least he's still a year older than Ruby?

" well see you at Beacon in three days" Brandon told her as he said goodbye. He hung up and got on an airship that leads to Beacon to get an early tour.

...What, was there an airship waiting right behind him or something? I thought he was at a train station? Also, dude, luggage. Might need it.

" I got accepted to Beacon!" Brandon yelled in excitement as people all around him looked at him.

Well that was quite the delayed reaction, there.

Brandon apologized and placed his earbuds into his ears and played This Will Be The Day by Jeff William.

Damn it it's gonna be a thing. At least this song was actually made for the show?

 lets see what life will take me" Brandon mumbled under his breath as he continued to listen to his song.

That's not how the song goes, Brandon!

Well, that's that for chapter 1. I guess the next three are gonna be more 'trailers', filled with amazing action scenes, epic/sombre/fitting character songs, and... I dunno, super totally awesome characters?

The story's kind of a mess here, but the main draw seems to be the comments section. It's... I can't describe it. Just look at it. Look and marvel.

Saturday, 24 October 2015

Sword Art Online: Man, the DLC Is Not Worth the Price

Sword Art Online, for those not in the know, is one of them popular animes that you either love or hate. To get my opinion out of the way: Mother's Rosario > SAO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Everything Else. Glad we settled that debate.

Anyways, today's story, The World of SAO by Veridan, is a typical OC story about being trapped in Aincrad, and what said OC does during those two years of imprisonment within the game. As the author himself puts it...

When sarcastic and smart college student Terran gets trapped in a virtual reality game, he's mad, and vows revenge on the creator, Akihiko Kayaba. Under the alias Terris, Terris goes to complete all 100 floors, but he has to go up against 99 bosses, death guilds, monsters, traps, dungerons, and his arch nemesis, Kirito.

...You can tell it'll be a whole load of fun to read. So, let's get started...

I'll admit… I've never been a gamer. I play games, a lot, but gamer is a bit of a stretch.

I dunno, you seem to play more games than the filthy casuals, from the sound of things.

However, even I will admit that I am hyped for this new game. And so, fast forward three days later... Sword Art Online, considered to be the most amazing experience in gaming history, a VRMMORPG (Virtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Online Rope Playing Game. I know it's a lot, shut up.)

Right now, there's not much really happening. "In three days, I wait one more day to play a game" is the gist of it. And a joke about the length of an acronym, I suppose.

 I got one of the last copies, one of the last 50. I was really lucky, so I ran home and slammed my door open. Went straight to my room and logged on. I didn't even eat anything.

Now that might as well be a death flag for you, guy. Come to think of it, do you even live with anyone else?

I hadn't eaten anything for like, a day.

See what I mean? The twist is that this guy will suddenly die in day 4 for no readily-apparent, in-game reason, right?

"Link start!" I yelled and suddenly, a flash of blue appeared right before my eyes. I made an account, put my username: Terris and password: monkeykill29 (yes, that's my password, I was bored).

Well, thanks for the login info, genius college student.

By the way, why do you even need to make up a new username? Does the blatantly "Japanese" name Terran not sound awesome enough for you?

I chose my avatar; I was a tall, handsome, fearsome warrior with blue hair and red knight outfit. I was a freaking badass, if I do say so myself.

Pictured: a badass

I did some other annoying calibration stuff, and then I was inside the game. Flashes of blue light appeared around me and plenty of other avatars spawned. I took no attention to them and ran to the market.

SAO was revolutionary for having no annoying tutorials of any kind on start-up, and for it being super-easy to navigate without practise.

 I spawned without a sword which is really freaking dumb.

I'll say, is that supposed to happen?

-After a quick katana purchase and some boar-killing-

I was teleported to the plaza. The blue sky was completely filled with red hexagons. A red blood like material oozed through the cracks, and it turned into a man in a robe.

Well isn't that a slightly odd event. I hope you've prepared an adequate reaction to this.

He said some weird stuff about how we're in a game and trapped, no log out button, but then he sent me a mirror. I equipped it and I turned into someone else. It wasn't my avatar, but me. It was me.

In other words... not someone else, Mr. Smart College Student.

 I was a tall person, with blue hair that went to my eyebrows. I wasn't the strong warrior anymore. I was still tall, but I was skinny and not strong at all.

In other words again, since your stats were not affected by the change, and you're apparently already tall and blue-haired... almost nothing at all has changed about you.

Again, smart college student.

I still had the costume; however, it felt weird on me. I was pissed.

Yeah man, Kayaba is such a dick, making the armour not fit right. Thank god he didn't do anything worse, right?

"At this moment, over 200 players have been deleted from the world of Aincrad and the real world." The man said.

I don't think that happened right this second, but fair enough, things are still following canon.

I started to listen to his conversation;

You've only just started to?! What kind of idiot skips important info during the cutscenes?!

however I was still mad at him for getting rid of my awesome avatar.

Fuck the 200 dead players, though. Scrubs, the lot of them.

 He said some other stuff I didn't listen to, and he left.

Are you secretly DarkSydePhil or something? This is kind of serious shit, here.

 I slowly snuck out of the crowd, bought some potions and teleport crystals and headed for a different freaking village. At least they didn't take away my freaking avatar.

Unlike... uh... Village 1? Is this arrogant fuckhead really supposed to be our hero of the story?

We'll move onto chapter 2 now, given how short this story is.

"Stupid Kayaba. Taking away my avatar. Screw you." I mumbled slowly to myself as I ran to the next village.

What does he think he is, a mass murderer or something?

 I was so mad, I was killing boars in one hit, flipping over virtual tables, and didn't even notice the other guy running towards the next village as well.

I know Asuna broke the sound barrier or whatever in canon, but breaking in-game rules like that is still stupid. Kind of defeats the point of limits in games, y'know?

Also, thought you were bitching about how weak you were now, Smart College Student.

We collided and were thrown back a bit. I rubbed my head in pain and we both got up.

The only two people that have left the starting village, and you somehow completely blind-sided each other while running in the exact same direction.

You and this story's interpretation of Kirito are so dead.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry man!" He scrambled reaching for my hand to pick me up. I grabbed it and he helped me up. "I think you dropped this." He picked up my sword and handed it to me.

And with that, Kirito, the guy rushing to the next village in order to get a massive headstart on the level grinding and crap, immediately resumed his jour-

"Sooooo… is first time in the game?" He asked.

Ah, sorry, I meant to say that he initiates dumbass small talk for no readily-apparent reason.

"Yup. I just bought it today, one of the very last ones." I replied to him.
"Nice. I like it so far. I was a Beta Tester."

"I'm glad Kayaba listened to our recommendation for the starting event. We can weed out all the scrubs so that only us hardcore gamers remain."

"Hey, you need help with getting around?"
"You heard Kayaba…"
I reminisced about that moment. I didn't listen to a thing he said.

Well, don't blame the game when you have no idea what's happening.

"…the easiest way to win an MMORPG is…"

Never start one to begin with?

He took away my avatar. I have a general hatred for him now.

Yeah, how dare take away the appearance that looked almost exactly the same as your real-life look?

"...I know my way around and I was thinking…"
I suddenly realized that this kid was asking to be in a guild with me.

Classic Kirito, creating guilds with random people, when not two seconds ago he refused to join one with a guy he'd gotten to know, because he much prefers being alone and not being held back!

I touched the blue button and he smiled.
"Glad to work with you, Terris?" Is that it?"

"That name sounds dumb. Terran would've been way cooler."

"Ki-ri-to? What kind of name is that?"

You have no right to talk. At least Kirito could pass for a real name.

"No, I didn't. How far away is the next village?"
"This way. It's about 5 miles that way." He pointed west.
"Okay. Let's go."

And with that amazing scene, the story so far has concluded.

So... yeah, I honestly have no idea if this is secretly a troll fic. Terran/Terris/Asshole is such an unlikeable, callous dumbass than I'm led to believe it is, but... it's hard to say.

Either way, this fic cares little for canon, and ruins one of SAO's two good arcs (well, covered by the anime so far). Not a fan of it, I'm afraid.

Thursday, 8 October 2015

Fullmetal Alchemist: Angry Edition

So you know how there's seven deadly sins, and the antagonists of Fullmetal Alchemist are named after them? Turns out there was a secret eighth sin all along. I know, weird how it was missed, but that's okay, now it's been rectified with today's fanfiction: Rage: The Eighth Homunculus, by bopdog111.

Now I know what you're all thinking already, and no, it isn't just a prequel starring Wrath. Somehow, rage is completely separate, and I suppose he gets a few whacky adventures?

Rage the eighth Homunculus watch as he travels around Amestra with anyone. The son of Riza Hawkeye, and Colonel Roy Mustang. He fights Homunculus or anything that makes him mad. Rage/BaileyxWinry

So I can only assume this is post-finale, or vastly AU. I'm guessing the latter, thanks to "Amestra".

I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist but i do own Rage. By the way this is before Riza joined the military.

Well, that too.

In a lone village was people walking, taiking, and selling stuff.

Talking or taking? This is an important distinction, probably.

"Ben! The usual?" A guy selling hot dogs ask. "Yeah same old same old." Ben said before a buliding exploded.

It's because Ben's alchemy requires a building to blow up before he can consume hot dogs. It's called Equivalent Exchange, man.

Now the people were screaming, running, and hiding. A pregnant woman with blonde hair into a bun, white tank top, brown shorts, black boots, grey eyes, and pink lipstick was running until a black fingernail emerge from the smoke. The fingernail hit her shoulder she screamed in pain as blood run down her shoulder.

This feels like a strange ensemble of colours to put on. How is it conductive for fleeing random acts of terrorism?

She looked behind her to see a woman wearing a black dress, long black sleeve gloves stopped above her shoulders with red markings, black shoes, long black hair, a grey tattoo that shows a snake eating it's tail with spikes on it's head

Just keep checking off those bullet points, I'm sure you'll reach the end of that appearance list eventually.

and back wings above it and a jew symbol in the center on her chests

I also would have accepted "Ouroboros wrapping itself around a hexagram. Especially when Judaism has nothing to do with the series. I can't imagine the descriptor "jew symbol" goes down well, either.

"Hello Riza Hawkeye." The woman in black said. Riza looked at woman in shock before she said her name "Lust." "Oh my you know my name all to well." Lust said.

"Which is weird, since I kind of don't make it very public. Nor do I personally blow up buildings for that matter."

Lust stop behind Riza and ready her other hand. "Ah well i like to see how Roy will reacted when he sees you dead." Lust said.

Lust was very well known for her hate-boner over Mustang. It's, like, the first thing you remember about her.

"No Lust! Please i have a child on the way!" Riza begged. Lust looked at Riza's expanded stomach, chuckled and said "Ah yes how would i forget that? But i don't care." Lust ready her hand and charge.

Good point. Hard to forget if you don't know - or care - beforehand.

Before it will plunge her face a white gloved hand with a transmutation circle on it grabbed Lust's hand.

"As it did nothing to stop the rapid growth of a fingernail sharp enough to scratch adamantium however, Roy's heroics were in vain."

Lust and Riza looked at the owner and Lust said "Colonel Roy Mustang." Roy is a man with short raven black hair, blue uniform suit, white gloves, black boots, black eyes, and white pants.

And that was all there was to him. Doesn't even own other clothes.

"Lust you will not kill her." Roy said coldly. "Roy you know it's rude to interrupt somebody's business." Lust said. "Not when it's between my wife." Roy said. "Fine." Lust said as she remove her nail from her shoulder.

Dank bants, fam. Or whatever the hell the lingo was back in the AU of a 1930's AU. Uh... sweet conversation, chap?

As she was walking away Roy and Riza hugged each other then Lust stopped walking catching Roy and Riza's attention as they separate each other from the hug.

I think Lust remembered that she's supposed to be over-the-top evil here.

"But-" She started then she turned and fired one of her nails impaling Riza's expanded stomach.

Can't wait to make some dead baby jokes!

Riza slowly looked down in shock with Roy staring at the nail in horrar. "-I can't get away without killing something!"

You blew up a building and still failed to kill anyone? Maybe you should leave the blatant terrorism stuff to the other homunculi, Lust. You seemed way better at the scheming.

Lust laugh as she retracted her nail and ran. "SOLDERS AFTER THAT HOMUNCULUS!" Roy yelled in rage to some solders with tears whelling his eyes. "Sir yes sir!" The solders saluted as they ran toward Lust.

...So why did these soldiers watch Lust stab a pregnant lady, attempt to kill her, make contact with the colonel, stab the same pregnant lady in the stomach, then flee while laughing like a maniac?

By the time they got to the hospital they were waiting. For the review on the child.

Is this how. You write in. A Shatner-like voice? Or maybe just. An overly-dramatic fashion. In general?

Then the doctor came out holding a clipboard. "Well i got good news: Riza will be fine after some stiches." The doctor said. "What about our child?" Roy ask. The doctor hesitated at first before saying the answer "I'm sorry it's dead." Then he left.

I, uh... I don't think I have a joke sufficiently witty enough to point out the rampant dickery with that doctor. Granted, that's not stopped my hilarious commentary before, but... wow.

Well, guess I could give it a try. "Yo man, good news! Your wife's alive, at the cost of your baby. Sucks, lol. See ya~"

Roy and Riza were horrified. "Roy." Riza sobbed with tears running. "I'm sorry Riza i shouldn't left you." Roy said in saddness.

If only you could have predicted an explosion that somehow led to a homunculus targeting your wife for no adequately-explored reason.

...Why was she being targeted? What's their history with Lust? This is pre-military Riza, after all... in which case, why the hell are those two married to begin with?!

Then three doctors came in "Colonel you must leave this room. We will prepare a C-Section to get the child out." One of the doctors said. "Alright." Roy said as he left. Then Riza relize something and thought I know! I will preform human transmutation to get our child back! Before she fell asleep.

Riza is known for her horrendously stupid decision-making, yes.

...Well, okay, I suppose Riza would be broken up over the murder of her unborn child, but... Riza in any timeframe seems a wee bit unlikely to jump straight to "let's bring him back to life with an alchemy that's never actually been known to work, lol".

A couple of hours later they got the dead child of Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye out since then Riza had a dream about her bringing her dead child back.

...Dreaming of her dead child since a couple of hours ago, when the baby was removed? Does the FMA universe even have anaesthetic that good?

"How is she?" Roy ask. "She'll be fine." The doctor said. Roy waited patiently for Riza to wake up. Then Riza opened her eyes. "Roy?" Riza said. "Riza." Roy said as they share a kiss.

Riza. Roy. Riza. Roy. Riza. Roy. Glad to see the classic chemistry between these two is untouched.

"Roy what was it?" Riza ask. "A boy." Roy answered. A week later Riza study human transmutation then she was ready.


So it only took a week to learn all about human transmutation, huh? I always assumed that everyone else who tried took a little longer to work things out, Ed & Al included.

Oh, and I guess I should ask the obvious question: Since when was Riza an Alchemist?

Then she was standing in front of a huge gate. "So you've come." A voice said. She looked behind her to see a being that looks white, a dark aura coming out of her with a smile and she is holding a baby boy. "Is that?" Riza ask. "Yes this is your child." The being said. "I want him." Riza said.

Well... no shit, I suppose.

"What are you willing to trade me for him?" The being ask. "Trade?" Riza said as the being nodded. "Yes." The being said. "Then my way to use Alchemy." Riza said. "Deal but They're is a price your son will become a Homunculus with much knowledge."

Seems a fair trade. Also seems like a thing Truth would mention. It was always nice like that.

Back in Riza's room. Riza woke up to see her son getting up. "My child?" Riza ask with a smile. When the child turned Riza saw red eyes glaring at her. She also sees her son's Homunculus tattoo on his stomach.

Riza's motherly instincts took over, and she immediately scolded her son for getting tattoos instead of a job. Kids these days, man.

The boy then said in a dark demonic voice "Hello Mother." Riza's smile faded.

I think Riza just realised that her son came from a Creepypasta world.

"RIZA!" Roy yelled as he opened the door. When then the boy saw him he ran. "Riza are you alright? Riza!" Roy said. Roy looked out the window seeing the child.
"Hello Father." The boy said as he ran.

It's times like these that I wish I could kidnap commission an artist to capture moments like these. Is Rage just casually speaking over his shoulder, while fleeing the house or something?

The birth of Rage and no he'll not team up with the rest. Be sure to review.

And with that devastating spoiler, the chapter comes to a close.

So... yeah! Rage! I can only assume that's what most people feel while reading this, given how... um... short it comes up. Everybody is pretty OOC, the AU thing only mentions a pre-military backstory for Riza, yet just about every detail is changed, and Lust... seems to prefer letting the whole world knows of her exploits now.

Well, if there's anything to that law of Equivalent Exchange, I should be able to find one good fanfic per bad one, so it shouldn't be too hard to find something that'll catch my interest! ...Right? 

Monday, 14 September 2015

Kingdom Buts: But Then The Story Ran On But That Was Fine But Not Really But...

Well, to be fair, Light's Destiny - written by Keyblade Master of Light - is hardly the silliest title for anything related to a Square game. And this fic is re-written from an older story that the author evidently is not fond of. Well, all right then, shouldn't be too bad to read through.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kingdom Hearts or the characters I'm gonna put in.
No flames allowed.

I will never understand this trend. You'd think the 'fanfiction' moniker would be a big enough clue about who owns the setting and all that.

In a strange ethereal place a young boy with blue eyes, dark brown hair with a big bang covering his right eye, wearing a blue short sleeved shirt with a white opened hoodie with black short sleeves over the blue shirt, dark green shorts with a star chain hanging from the left side of his shorts, and black and red shoes is floating down in the ethereal place much to his confusion.

I'd be confused as well, if the narrative went on a long tangent about my clothes during a freefall. Makes me wonder how the KH opening movies would be, if the song lyrics were just "And Sora wore bright red shorts, and a crown necklace, and massive, yellow clown shoooeeeessss".

"Huh? What's going on? Where am I?" The boy asked even though he's not physically talking but mentally.

This mysterious art is known as "thinking".

"So very much to do, so little time." A voice said and the boy looks around to find where the voice came from.
"Where are you?" The boy asked.
"The door is still shut. The time has come."

Don't you just hate rude, disembodied voices that don't answer you? Also, Protag here landed on a cloud, just so you know.

The cloud takes the boy to a floating rocky land and upon arriving the boy gets off the cloud and gets on the rocky land and while exploring but just weapons appear and they are a sword, staff, blaster, gauntlet, orb, scythe, whip, and a cane and the boy walks over to them and examines them.

I, uh... right, let me just process that sequence of events.

So, this guy's tutorial gives him eight different weapons to choose from, huh? Well, since this is Kingdom Hearts, this just means eight different ways to level up and learn new skills! If he's introducing so many, then these new weapons must play an important part, right?

The boy examines every weapon and chooses the sword.

Once More at level 77 it is!

"Is strength important to you?" The voice asked.
"Yes." The boy answered taking the sword and wields it backhanded.

"As the sword was not built to accomodate such a style, however, it was uncomfortable to wield, and was no doubt useless in battle like that."

Just then the rocky land starts to crumble and disappear but the cloud saves the boy before he falls.
The cloud takes the boy to a building and the boy gets off the cloud and gets on the building and the sword appears on his hand.

If he's getting off the cloud, we probably already guessed he was on the building. Not sure what he needs to get on for.

"You have the power to fight." The voice said.
"Now what?" The boy asked.
"Try swinging." The voice said and the boy takes a swing. "Excellent. Use this power to defend yourself and others." The voice said.

I like to imagine Enigmatic Voice is just being a sarcastic arsehole here. "Oh, you swung a sword. Now you can surely defend all the things."

"Okay." The boy said and just then a black phantom creature with crimson spiked crescents on its body appears. "What is that?" The boy asked.
"There will be times when you will have to fight. You must keep your light burning strong." The voice said.
"No problem." The boy said.

So is this just a shot-for-shot remake of KH1's opening sequence, except with dialogue that Sora probably would have said?

The phantom creature attacks the boy but the boy strikes at the phantom with his sword killing it but just then more phantoms creatures appear and attacks the boy but the boy keeps fighting back with his sword delivering a killing blow on the phantoms making them leave but one appears behind the boy but the boy turns around and strikes with his sword killing it but another phantom destroys the building and the boy falls but the cloud returns and saves him.

Right, okay, so... huh? The hell just happened? Was he just one-shotting them? Were they any threat at all? How was the building destroyed? What kind of building even was it?!

...What... what was the original version like...?

The cloud takes the boy what looks like a forest and the boy gets off the cloud and explores around the forest and he finds three people which are two boys and one girl.

"It took me five goddamn hours to find you guys! I am dying of thirst! Why didn't that stupid cloud take me straight to you!"

"The door won't open just yet." The voice said.
"Then what do I do?" The boy asked.
"Tell me more about yourself." The voice said.

"Oh, well... I like painting, and sunsets, and friendship, and I have a thing about spiders. Creepy little things, man. And I'm a Tauros."

-And then random questions are answered. It is exactly like the game-

The cloud arrives at what looks like an island and the boy gets off and explores around but just the island is being covered in water and the boy is trapped in the water but the boy emerges back to the surface

Sorry, I just need a moment to parse this before I continue.

but notices that the sky is dark and the waves are getting rough but the boy sees a piece of wood and gets on it but just then a giant shadow dragon creature with the crimson spiked crescents marks appears and attacks the boy but the cloud appears and the boy gets on.

That cloud is such a dick. It keeps dumping him in random places, knowing full well he's probably either gonna fall to his death, drown, or get lost.

"Do not be afraid." The voice said and the boy prepares to fight.


The shadow creature breathes black fire at the boy but the cloud dodges and it takes the boy to the shadow dragon and the boy starts attacking with his sword but the shadow dragon bites but the boy who blocks and strikes back with his sword and gets the head but the shadow dragon roars in anger and shoots black fireballs and the cloud tries to dodge but one of the fireballs get the boy making him fall

Hate to cut it off at the most suspenseful part and all, but... but. But but but. But but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but. I think that accurately sums up the rest of this, er, battle.

"Do not be afraid. You will be the one who will open the door and restore what is now broken. Do not forget your destiny and your purpose." The voice said as the shadow dragon consumes the boy and everything goes black.

Well that sure was an original dream. Glad it was something I could view any time I play Kingdom Hearts.

So, that was... a thing. I hesitate to call it downright horrible, since... while it's pretty much another example of ripping of a game's script, this at least isn't defiling canon characters in the meantime. Also pretty weakly written for a rewrite, especially with those run-on sentences that contain more 'but's than it does actual combat.

Not sure why it felt the need to include what was basically gameplay tutorials, though. Or add so many random weapons that, in-game, just determine what you learn at X level, and then go with a choice provided by the game, anyway. Strange.

Oh well, at the writer's earnest?